ARGH! Just had a fight with dh on phone

[RCT]

First let me say I love my dh.....but on that note, I just had the stupidest argument with him over the darn telephone, nonetheless....I can't even believe we were fighting on the phone and he was in his sisters driveway, oh what she must think....LOL.. :lol: (not that I care, cuz I don't) but how stupid...he always has time for everyone else during the week, but when it comes to me or the house, its always...."I got to work" well he went into the city today, and I suggested that dd and I would come with him and do some errands while he was at his appt...well he kind of shot it down, saying what about UPS coming today and What if were not back in time to meet ds's school bus...so I agreed to stay here...which was cool, really I was cool with that :biggrin: ...but then I call his cell phone cuz he got a package that needed a signature and anyway to let him know it had arrived.....he said that he had finished up early and instead of rushing back to the office, where he says he needs to be every day monday through friday 9-5, and that's all I ever here......he told me that he and his sister had gone to lunch and were off to a store to look at windows and refurbished vanities for the bathroom....HELLO....maybe I would have like to look too? When he is here and the kids are not, he would never take me to lunch, or to look at something for the house, he doens't want to do anything I suggest, and always gives me the work excuse so whatever...... so anyway, I guess he could tell I was in shock, so he asked me what was wrong, and I told HIM....I couldn't believe the denial about the lunch thing and how he said that what I was saying wasn't true....OMG, yes it is....I love this man, but open your darn eyes....when it comes to his other family...playing hooky is ok...when it comes to me and the kids....NO WAY....

I am sure we'll make up, of course we hung up angry and I feel bad like I am unreasonable....he has that effect on me.....LOL....I just needed to vent.....sometimes I think Men, no offense to you men out there....are nuts.....

[KarlaB]

Sorry to hear you guys had a fight, isn't that the worst? I have had fights similar to yours with dh before only with us it sometimes involved family and other times coaching and or co-workers. He used to never see it and now I finally think he has come around - or at least it hasn't been an issue for a long time. (Knock on wood!) Hope you guys work thru this soon - fighting is no fun and we know you love your dh and just needed to vent!! :)

[Amy]

I think you have a valid point Renee. I would be extremely miffed too. If he finished up early, why didn't he then come home to you and see if you wanted to do lunch? Why his sister? And why go look at thing for YOUR house without you? I don't mean to be an instigator, but he is off his mark. Maybe you need to ask yourself why he wouldn't tell you he was done early and why he decided to ask his sister out to lunch and leave you home thinking he was still in the city. I know you have been under a lot of stress and depression lately (rightfully so). Do you think he just doesn't want to be around it? Just a thought and by no means this is your fault.

[AnnW]

You want me to come smack him for you?????

Sorry he is being such a jerk.

[Mickey]

Oh, does this ever sound familiar! >:-(

We went through this a couple of years ago and it got really bad--he ended up avoiding me and not even calling because "he knew what I'd say". Well, duh? How 'bout caring about my feelings??? The more I tried to pull him to us, the more he pulled away.

I've let go a lot, and while I try to appear like it's fine with me, I still have a hard time when he wants to go out and "talk business" over a beer or when doesn't have time for us.

I just don't think men think the same way we think. I tried going out with friends when ds was smaller and I found myself missing him so much. I didn't WANT to be away from my family. I don't think that guys don't care or anything, they just look at it differently.

Chin up, sweetie...just calmly tell him how you feel and that you know he would never intentionally hurt your feelings, but you'd appreciate it if he'd be more respectful of your feelings in the future.

[darlene]

At least you are talking to your dh.....I gave that up last night.....I refuse to be treated like a *#^$%#^%$^# maid around here!
I have honestly thought about running away for the weekend.....but my pathetic life leaves me no where to go!

[RCT]

Men..... well AnnW you should come over and smack him for me... I would love that... :lol: Darlene, sorry your not talking to you dh, I was thinking of not speaking with mine too, but I had to because of the kids and all.... :biggrin:

Personally I really don't think, he thinks...LOL... he has 5 sisters, all great, but two of them can take your breath a way, and those two are the ones in the city...LOL... :lol:.... he did call me back and say he wasn't going to lunch, and that he would be home asap, which he was....which wasn't the point...I wanted him to sometime, someday ask me to lunch...selfish I know...LOL....:lol: he did come home asap and appologizing for arguing and yelling back at me....LOL yes, I am a yeller.....we went to the bank and cleared up some money issues....then home to dinner, we have made up, but why are men so dense...I'm not jealous of his sisters, really I have my own relationship with them......its the insensitivaty, I'm never asked out, and when I ask him he say's well what about my job, but because he is already in the city, he can play hooky, guess I should have just gone with him today and I could have played hookey too. Live and learn... :lol:

well almost bedtime, so see ya....

[AnnW]

Men are just dense cause they are stupid!! It's genetic and in bred! LOL
Darlene..what me to come smack your dh around too...I am feeling really feisty tonite!! LOL

[KarlaB]

Glad you guys worked things out. Men really do not think like women and it is SO frustrating - when will they learn? ;) LOL! We all need to feel appreciated and treasured. When dh and I used to have fights like this he'd say, "Why didn't you just say so (or ask)?" My thing was I didn't think I should have to ask. I now know men just aren't like us and once I learned to accept that (or at least deal with it a little lol) it seemed to get better. :)

Ann- You could do a "Smack our Dh's tour" across the nation! LOL!

Darlene - Hope things are looking up for you! It's so hard to be in the middle of a fight and to not feel appreciated. :(

[AnnW]

Originally posted by KarlaB

Ann- You could do a "Smack our Dh's tour" across the nation! LOL!


]

ROFL!!! I am there!!!!!

actually at our happy hour tonite, we were talking about how differently men and women think...it was funny to hear the men agree that they were always wrong and there was nothing they could do about it!!!!!!! :biggrin:

[KarlaB]

Originally posted by AnnW

]

ROFL!!! I am there!!!!!

actually at our happy hour tonite, we were talking about how differently men and women think...it was funny to hear the men agree that they were always wrong and there was nothing they could do about it!!!!!!! :biggrin:

Did you get that on tape for all of us??!! LOL!

[Diane]

Originally posted by AnnW

]

ROFL!!! I am there!!!!!

actually at our happy hour tonite, we were talking about how differently men and women think...it was funny to hear the men agree that they were always wrong and there was nothing they could do about it!!!!!!! :biggrin:

Oh WOW... men in a group actually ADMITTING that they're WRONG? That's amazing!!! My dh is SO darn stubborn he'd NEVER admit to being wrong... Ugh!!! What's that stupid saying he always say's, I may not always be right... but I'm never wrong??? Ugh!!! I could have used you to come and smack mine a few weeks ago when I really got into it with him LOL We don't fight often... but when we do it's usually a doozie, and it was. LOL He must have known that I was REALLY angry because eventually he did come and apologize. LOL THAT was a first. I asked him to wait while I ran and got the tape recorder. He actually had to laugh!

Evidently Renee, you must have made your point to your dh... he didn't go eat lunch with his sister AND he came home asap. It makes you angry that it had to take a fight in order to open his eyes, but at least he came around. LOL Maybe the next time he has some extra time he'll think of YOU first and call and ask you out for lunch. I would have felt very offended if my dh had done something like this to me too. I'm glad you spoke your peace and let him know how you felt. :)

Diane... :wave:

[angie r]

I am going to step in here and say....even though I shouldn't.....leave my dh out of the public smacking. He is the most caring, loving man in the whole wide world. I have to say that I think it is because he is an identical twin. He always considers me and my feelings before doing anything. He still sends love notes to me in the mail and often surprises me by cleaning the house while I am asleep. If I have had a hard day when he comes home he sends me to bed and he tends to the kids. He never says an ugly word to me even if I have thrown some at him. He gives me time away without complaint and never tells me the house is a mess when I know it is. What a joy he is! :*

Angie R- You are a lucky woman...but so is he, because you appreciate him. As for the rest of them... Ann, smacking them does no good--because you feel guilty for snapping and they don't wake up anyway. :banghead: Mindreading is not a skill that men possess, so Renee keep spelling things out, and use small words! LOL Besides, next time he goes to the city (you mean Syracuse, Right?), come have lunch with ME! :D

[Leigh]

Hey I agree with all of you that men do not think sometimes. I have to say that my dh is much better than he was when we first got married, but I have been in the same boat with all of you. Sometimes he will still drop anything for his friends but not for me. I relly think that it is because they know that you love them and they feel secure enough to be themselves around you, but they worry about what everyone else thinks. The saying goes you hurt the ones you love the most. It is so true.

[AnnW]

Originally posted by Cathy
Ann, smacking them does no good--because you feel guilty for snapping


nope, no guilt here!!!!!!!!!! LOL

AnnW ---- Want some of mine?? Please?

[AnnW]

Originally posted by Cathy
AnnW ---- Want some of mine?? Please?

ROFL!!!!!!!! nope! :biggrin:


actually, I hardly ever have to smack mine around anymore, after 20 years he's pretty well trained now! :newwink: He's a pretty good guy....I'll keep him.

[Diane]

I never REALLY smack mine unless I'm teasing around with him... but I do tell him a thing or two when it's necessary. LOL He's usually always okay... but he still needs to be reminded every once in a while that I have feelings too. :) LOL

Diane... :wave:

[RCT]

smacking him around is kinda fun, in theary....LOL....he is so pre occupied lately, I did feel guilty after our fight...I know he is just a man, its not his fault....LOL....he is usually sensative, because of his 5 older sisters raising him, but dense sometimes nonetheless.....

he and the kids picked me wild flowers this am, before breakfast, then I just felt really bad...LOL...oh well..

[KarlaB]

Originally posted by RCT
he and the kids picked me wild flowers this am, before breakfast, then I just felt really bad...LOL...oh well..

Don't feel bad - you deserved the flowers. Glad to hear things are better - just remember all of our dh's have their moments - just like we do, too! :)

[Mickey]

How nice to have a place to vent about our husbands! So glad my dh doesn't visit here or I'd have to find somewhere else to be frustrated! ;) LOL!

[AnnW]

Originally posted by Mickey
How nice to have a place to vent about our husbands! So glad my dh doesn't visit here or I'd have to find somewhere else to be frustrated! ;) LOL!


No kidding!! No offense Brichard and Big Daddy, but my NIGHTMARE is that dh would post here!!!! LOL
If I hadn't had ya'll to vent to and cry with this last year, I would have gone crazy!!!

[RCT]

AnnW, with out this place to come and vent in privacy, I would go insane...dh wouldn't come here, unless invited....so that's good...

[AnnW]

Originally posted by RCT
AnnW, with out this place to come and vent in privacy, I would go insane...dh wouldn't come here, unless invited....so that's good...


dh knows all about ya'll and I tell him most of the good stuff :) and I love him dearly but, I wouldn't want him coming here...this place is MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KarlaB]

Originally posted by AnnW



dh knows all about ya'll and I tell him most of the good stuff :) and I love him dearly but, I wouldn't want him coming here...this place is MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:) Ditto!!! :)

[Leigh]

Originally posted by KarlaB


:) Ditto!!! :)

:)DITTO here too!!!:)

[kat]

Ann- You could do a "Smack our Dh's tour" across the nation! LOL!

How funny.