Fear

[Robert Ware]

Ok, I've been at my job for about 5 months.

When I staretd I had issues with one girl in particular, a 4 year old whom was terrified of me. this seems to be imrproving, and why she was initially afraid is anyones guess.

But recently a girl I've been closer to (i'm her keyworker) has also become afraid, and I mean MORTALLY afraid. She actually asks her mother if she can stay away because of me, and it makes no sense. This is a girl I have been getting along with since I started.

My manager believes it's because a lot's going on at the moment, maybe she NEEDS someone to blame for problems she can;t understand at home, and maybe she chose me for 1)Because I am Male and 2) Because I am only 17 years old. Therefore not the kind of carer she is used to. I'm 'Different'

I've been adopting a 'wait, and let her come around' approach but its been a while. I know not to expect immediate results, but more than anything I'm concerned that this may happen again. I'm trying to keep my distance, but not tottally abandon the frightened ones.

I'm wondering if this is the right approach? Maybe I'm just dubious because its been a while and seemingly no change, but more than anything I ASM worried that this might happen again.

Does anyone have any advice? Anyone else had this sort of problem? How did you handle it?

[Diane]

I think it's a lot like you said... and it's not really YOU, just that you are different. I also believe that some girls have a harder time adjusting and getting close to a male figure than a woman. Perhaps there is no other male figure in her life or she's not close to him if there is?

My granddaughter, 2... has been terrified of her other grandfather. Every time he goes over there to visit she screams/cries... then hides. It's taken her this long (watching/observing him playing and having fun with his other grandchildren) for her to finally start letting him get close to her. Sometimes things like this take a while. Don't push yourself on her, but don't totally ignore her either. Be patient... and I'm sure she'll eventually come around. Good luck.......

[vea29]

I've also come across children who just don't click right away and I have found if you out going/cheery to others around and she can watch from a distance then she may start warming up. Children also often take on other children's fears.... I remember having one child petrified of any holiday character....soon I had half a class afraid...just be patient.

[JeannieOR]

I don't have any advice for you, Robert but I thought I’d share a story...

There is a Kindergarten teacher at my son's school who's name is "Teacher Bob". He is at least 6' 8" if not taller. He has a big, booming voice and sounds like any fairy tale giant might sound. Can you just imagine him in his classroom wearing a craft apron, surrounded by all those teeny tiny kids and teeny tiny furniture????

Well, at curriculum night last month, several of the 5th graders gave speeches about their most fond memories of their school, and about half of them talked about teacher Bob...about how scared they were the first time they saw him, but how he became their favorite teacher and how they still like to go visit him in his classroom. It was very cute!

[Robert Ware]

it's good to know I'm not playing this wrong. Thanks for taking the time to reply everyone!

Jeanie- that WAS a cute story

[Diane]

I don't have any advice for you, Robert but I thought I’d share a story...

There is a Kindergarten teacher at my son's school who's name is "Teacher Bob". He is at least 6' 8" if not taller. He has a big, booming voice and sounds like any fairy tale giant might sound. Can you just imagine him in his classroom wearing a craft apron, surrounded by all those teeny tiny kids and teeny tiny furniture????

Well, at curriculum night last month, several of the 5th graders gave speeches about their most fond memories of their school, and about half of them talked about teacher Bob...about how scared they were the first time they saw him, but how he became their favorite teacher and how they still like to go visit him in his classroom. It was very cute!

Jaennie... That's so cute. LOL

Sarah's other grandpa sports a long white beard. Sarah seems confused as to who exactly he is. She's called him grandpa, Santa... and Noah. There is also a character (I don't know if he's a new character or what) on Barney who also has a white beard and so now she asks for the video with grandpa on it. We think he scares her because he's kind of a large guy or it may just be the beard, or a combination of them both. LOL Dawn said he shaved it and she seems much better with him now than before. LOL

[vea29]

I don't have any advice for you, Robert but I thought I’d share a story...

There is a Kindergarten teacher at my son's school who's name is "Teacher Bob". He is at least 6' 8" if not taller. He has a big, booming voice and sounds like any fairy tale giant might sound. Can you just imagine him in his classroom wearing a craft apron, surrounded by all those teeny tiny kids and teeny tiny furniture????

Well, at curriculum night last month, several of the 5th graders gave speeches about their most fond memories of their school, and about half of them talked about teacher Bob...about how scared they were the first time they saw him, but how he became their favorite teacher and how they still like to go visit him in his classroom. It was very cute!

That's cute...

I had a teacher like that in Jr. High...I thought he was great...I was just petrified when he got close because I was so small.

But that was the only Social studies class I liked.