Are you raising a spoiled child?

[AnnW]

I thought this was interesting.........

Here's a checklist for identifying a spoiled child:

•Is your child overindulged? When you're out shopping, if she sees a Barbie doll she must have, do you buy it if even though she already has several?

•Does she demand center stage? When a group of friends or family gather, does she interrupt and insist everyone focus attention on her?

•Can she delay gratification? If she asks for a cookie and you tell her she must wait until after dinner, does she whine and plead? Do you end up giving in?

•Does she follow through with her responsibilities? When it's time to put her blocks away, does she throw a temper tantrum so you end up completing the job for her?

If you answer "yes" to these questions, you might be raising a "spoiled child" but it's not too late to remedy the affliction.

When your daughter demands a new Barbie doll, tell her, "I know you really want her, she is beautiful. You wish you could have a new Barbie every day, but you can't. You can cry, whine and beg, but I'm not going to buy it."

When your child draws attention to herself, move toward her, touch her, allow her a little recognition, but if she goes on and on, direct her onto another activity or out of the room. If she frequently interrupts, see that she waits at least one minute before you'll turn your attention to her. Say, "I know you have something important to say, but you must wait one minute until Grandma finishes talking." Ignore any antics that might follow.

If she whines and pleads for that one extra cookie, stick by your "no." When she learns to gracefully manage herself when you deny her every whim, she builds her character.

When she refuses to put her blocks away, insist that she follow through. You can help, and be sure to compliment any feeble attempt at first, but see that she does some of it.

Most important, please don't equate indulgence, attention, instant gratification and no responsibilities to love. Proceed confidently knowing that by helping her reduce her spoiled tendencies, you're parenting in her best interest. You've got your work cut out for you right now, but it will pay off in the long run. Soon you'll have a better behaved and more enjoyable child.

[AnnW]

Another good article along the same lines....

http://family.go.com/raisingkids/chi...aspoiled3.html

[RCT]

thanks Ann, we have the

~Does she demand center stage? When a group of friends or family gather, does she interrupt and insist everyone focus attention on her?


Problem, more often lately...I have noticed when I am having a conversation on the phone or in public...she interrupts and insists I pay attention to her....its really become a problem in the last week...thanks for the article....I have gone back to a more strict

123 magic approach..seems I can't stray from it for too long...

[AnnW]

I have found at least for the phone/public thing is if I get her (and it's usually dd!) to stand by me and I rub her back while I finish what I am doing, she usually feels connected enough to me to be patient.

[Lynda-WA]

Originally posted by AnnW
•Is your child overindulged? When you're out shopping, if she sees a Barbie doll she must have, do you buy it if even though she already has several?

•Can she delay gratification? If she asks for a cookie and you tell her she must wait until after dinner, does she whine and plead? Do you end up giving in?

Looks like *I* am the one with the problem! If we're out shopping and I see a Barbie *I* want she gets it! Note that she really only plays with her Barbies when friends are over. She has over 50 dolls, enough clothes to fill a large toy box with only clothes in it, a plane, a jeep, a VW, 2 motor homes, a ferris wheel, a merry go round, a roller coaster, an amusement ride swing, a playground swing, a chalet, 2 apartment houses, 2 horse stables, half a dozen Barbie horses, and a couple of boxes full of other misc Barbie stuff.

*I* don't wait until after dinner to eat a cookie. In fact when I dared to suggest McDonald's 2 nights in a row DS (10) told me he didn't want that much grease. *I* didn't see the problem!

[littlesista06]

Well, I answered no to all questions which made me feel good.

Raising an only child, I sometimes wonder if my view of her maybe being spoiled is a bit skewed - however, I've always gone the opposite way - sometimes to the extreme - to make sure she isn't spoiled.

[BevJ]

Originally posted by littlesista06
Well, I answered no to all questions which made me feel good.

Raising an only child, I sometimes wonder if my view of her maybe being spoiled is a bit skewed - however, I've always gone the opposite way - sometimes to the extreme - to make sure she isn't spoiled.

Ditto. I'm also raising an 'only', so I also try to go out of my way not to spoil him. Has worked so far, he's 11 now, and I've had many people tell me he's not a "typical/spoiled only child". Kudos to you and I, lol.

[kacee]

I had 3 no's there. I think that I spoil her with love. The responsibilities one was the one that messed me up. She really is good about doing things, I am the one with the problem here. I haven't organized and planned an effective way to deal with the chores. I usually end up doing them.

Everyone says that she is nice and polite. She has helped others (did my mom's dishes) with out me asking. But then sometimes I see her focus mainly on her needs and wants (gratification one). We will be working on this one.

My dd is really is precious and a joy (ok this morning). Mama is the one messed up. Please see other thread!!

[RCT]

Originally posted by AnnW
I have found at least for the phone/public thing is if I get her (and it's usually dd!) to stand by me and I rub her back while I finish what I am doing, she usually feels connected enough to me to be patient.

Thanks Ann, I tried this yesterday and this morning... it really seemed to help her wait....also holding my hand yelped yesterday at the party....thanks again

[JeannieOR]

Originally posted by Lynda-WA


Looks like *I* am the one with the problem! If we're out shopping and I see a Barbie *I* want she gets it! Note that she really only plays with her Barbies when friends are over. She has over 50 dolls, enough clothes to fill a large toy box with only clothes in it, a plane, a jeep, a VW, 2 motor homes, a ferris wheel, a merry go round, a roller coaster, an amusement ride swing, a playground swing, a chalet, 2 apartment houses, 2 horse stables, half a dozen Barbie horses, and a couple of boxes full of other misc Barbie stuff.

*I* don't wait until after dinner to eat a cookie. In fact when I dared to suggest McDonald's 2 nights in a row DS (10) told me he didn't want that much grease. *I* didn't see the problem!

I had no idea you were such a kid. BTW, my dd has a doll house that she indulged me in.