Explaining Sex

[Mickey]

Just reading at another board (but I swear, it doesn't mean anything to me! ) and a mother posted that her 5 yo dd asked her how babies were made. She told her you have to have sex. Then the dd asked what sex was and the mother replied that it's when a man puts his ***** in a woman. YIKES! Is it just me, or is that WAY too much info to give a 5 yo?

Ds asked me how he grew in me and I just said, "Well, you started out as a tiny, little speck of cells and grew and grew in my womb until you were ready to come out." Then he asked how he got out and I told him the truth--that the doctor cut my tummy when I was numb and couldn't feel it and pulled him out. He was fine with that. Not sure how I'll handle it when he asks me how the cells got there. I'll probably just tell him I swallowed a watermelon seed. LOL! KIDDING!

Were you asked that young? If so, what did you say?

[Lynda-WA]

I do think that is to much information for that age. I saw a show once where the child asks a question and one parent goes into a concise technical explaination. The child's eyes start glazing over. The other parent butts in and gives a simplistic explaination then asks the child if they had any questions. The child smiles and says *maybe when I get bigger*. I really wish I could remember what show it was from.

Both kids have watched a couple of shows with the development of a baby. Plus we went to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) when they had human developement as a topic. So they have babies starting out as a sperm and an egg down pat. In the beginning, I described it as a Mom's egg and a Dad's seed. DD (then 5) asked how the Dad's seed gets in my *tummy* and I simply said the Daddy puts it there. I explianed it's sort of like the chicken egg needs the Daddies seed to become a chicken otherwise it stays an egg. They've also seen deliveries on TV so they know that is how babies are born.

DH has expanded on it with fish. Since he's an avid fisherman he has pointed out the roe to the kids when he guts them. He's the one that transfered the simplified *seed* term we were using to sperm, a concept they wouldn't have understood to begin with. Add to that all of the nature shows they've seen and they have the basic concept down.

[JeannieOR]

When my 5yo ds asked. I started out with the whole tummy thing, but he just kept asking more questions. I tried being as vague as possible but his wasn't satified until I explained every detail. I'm just lucky he didn't ask me to show him with hand puppets. Afterwards, he just said "oh" and has not mentioned it since. Unfortunately, his 7yo dd overheard us, covered her ears and ran sceaming from the room.

Do you think she'll try sending her therapy bills to me?

[littlesista06]

Oh my Mickey..... that's a lot of info for a 5 yr old.

My dd 6 1/2 knows that we went to the hospital and got her and brought her home. That's all she's asked about --- basically, "how did you get me?"

[AnnW]

I think it really depends on the child. Your cell definition and c-section story might have been too much for some kids, but you know Monkey so you knew he could understand that concept. I also think it depends on our level of comfort. I totally wimped whenever ds would ask questions and be very vague thinking he was "too young", he eventually quit asking. DS knows more about how the body works, sex, ect than I think he does! LOL I know it's more than some of the neighbor kids cause I have warned the moms, but I answer her questions..if she keeps asking, I keep giving her the answers.

[KarlaB]

Yikes! I agree ~ too much information! Oldest ds knows he came out of my tummy, but that's about it. I try to limit my answers and give him as little detail as possible at this point.

[Marla]

That sure does seem like too much info for that age

[Lynda-WA]

Jeannie - I'm still chuckling over your answer!

I think your case goes to show that each child is different. But I also think you went about it the right way by starting basic and asking if he wanted more info.

[JeannieOR]

Linda/Wa - I'm releived you don't think I'm a freak.

DS has always been very interested in the human body. He's quite the little scientist really. DD would prefer to think everything happens by magic. She almost 9 and I want to start talking to her about her period but she's made it very clear she doesn't want to hear it. Maybe someone could suggest a book for her. I'm afraid she's destined to learn the wrong things from her school mates.

[AnnW]

Originally posted by JeannieOR
. I'm afraid she's destined to learn the wrong things from her school mates.

that's where ds is learning all of his stuff! LOL

learn from my mistakes, go into more detail..don't wait for the "right" age. You will be able to tell by their body language or words if you have gone too far with them.

[Mickey]

I somehow missed a few of these replies!

I agree that it does depend on the child and that you should be clear about what they are asking and be good at reading those cues that say, "I don't want to know anymore right now!" LOL!

Jeannie, maybe you could get your dd the book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret I remember she starts her period in the book, but don't remember how "educational" it was--might be a starting point for her, though (?).

[Marla]

Originally posted by Mickey




Jeannie, maybe you could get your dd the book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret I remember she starts her period in the book, but don't remember how "educational" it was--might be a starting point for her, though (?).

Mickey...that brought back memories. I loved that book when I was younger.

[MaryL]

So far, oldest ds has been satisfied with the answer that "God put a baby in Mom's tummy." It's a cop out answer...but he seems okay with it. He knows that the baby comes out in the hospital...with lots of pushing. Someone at school told him that it was like "pooping" (thanks kid!)...and ds hasn't asked much about that since. LOL He's 8...so I'm sure more questions are bound to come out soon. I'm the only female here...and they know that I like privacy when I shower...use the bathroom...change, etc. They've made comments about how Mom has more private parts...you know, the usual observations, etc. I'm trying to teach modesty... I guess. Heck, until recently, my dks would go to the bathroom with the door open...and it wasn't a problem until one did it at a friend's birthday party!!! Now we remind them to use some privacy. When did they get this old that we have to think about all of this????