Arggg

[littlesista06]

Okay, 6th graders here have HABIT sheets - they are behavior sheets where you earn letters for good behavior, displaying core values, actions, etc. or have letters taken away from you for poor choices, not having homework, etc.

Well, dd hasn't ever had a letter taken away until Friday. The ex-boyfriend had been talking to her and she said something back. He got caught, got a habit letter taken away and the teacher thought the girl next to dd was talking - but she wasn't, and she didn't get in trouble.

Dd told the teacher she was talking to the ex. The teacher thanked her for her honesty and coming to her (she stayed after class to tell the teacher and the ex stayed with her), but she still took a letter away from her. : (
Now, it's not going to make a hill of beans worth of difference in her life, but I feel two ways about this:
1. proud of her for telling on her herself
2. disappointed that the teacher went through with taking a letter away
3. thinking if she had to take the letter away from her, she could have zero'd it out by giving her a good habit letter
4. pleased the ex stayed with her - he kept saying "you didn't have to do that" (which dh agreed with adamantly!!!)

I won't say anything to the teacher, just not worth it. But wanted to get that off my chest. LOL Dh was irked at dd for turing herself in but I thought it was very grown up of her. She said she had a stomach ache the rest of the afternoon after she did it. LOL!!

I should say, the giving and taking of letters is arbritary to the teacher - there is no office or administration involvement in this.

[Amy]

I think she did the right thing and I would be proud as heck with her. It is a good lesson to learn that doing the right thing isn't always going to have a happy ending. It is a shame that the teacher didn't see it as the noble gesture it was, but your dd can hold her head up high knowing she did what she believed in was right.

[AnnW]

Originally Posted by littlesista06

Okay, 6th graders here have HABIT sheets - they are behavior sheets where you earn letters for good behavior, displaying core values, actions, etc. or have letters taken away from you for poor choices, not having homework, etc.

Well, dd hasn't ever had a letter taken away until Friday. The ex-boyfriend had been talking to her and she said something back. He got caught, got a habit letter taken away and the teacher thought the girl next to dd was talking - but she wasn't, and she didn't get in trouble.

Dd told the teacher she was talking to the ex. The teacher thanked her for her honesty and coming to her (she stayed after class to tell the teacher and the ex stayed with her), but she still took a letter away from her. : (
Now, it's not going to make a hill of beans worth of difference in her life, but I feel two ways about this:
1. proud of her for telling on her herself
2. disappointed that the teacher went through with taking a letter away
3. thinking if she had to take the letter away from her, she could have zero'd it out by giving her a good habit letter
4. pleased the ex stayed with her - he kept saying "you didn't have to do that" (which dh agreed with adamantly!!!)

I won't say anything to the teacher, just not worth it. But wanted to get that off my chest. LOL Dh was irked at dd for turing herself in but I thought it was very grown up of her. She said she had a stomach ache the rest of the afternoon after she did it. LOL!!

I should say, the giving and taking of letters is arbritary to the teacher - there is no office or administration involvement in this.

first off...EX????

2nd...i always tell my children 'telling the truth doesn't mean you won't be punished, but i guarantee if you tell a lie, the punishment will be 10 times worse'.
honesty always pays off in the end. i applaud her.
dd and i were talking about the difference between morals and integrity. morals is knowing right from wrong. integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking. your dd showed integrity.

[Diane]

You should be so proud of your dd, and she should be so proud of herself for doing the right thing. Her EX also showed a lot of class by sticking by her side. They both showed a surprisingly amount of maturity. The teacher on the other hand neglected to see the big picture of what actually took place. Yes, your dd was talking when she shouldn't have been... but admitting to it and taking the blame when she easily could easily have passed it off to someone else should have, IMO been rewarded, not punished. I'm very impressed...

[angie r]

Originally Posted by AnnW

first off...EX????

2nd...i always tell my children 'telling the truth doesn't mean you won't be punished, but i guarantee if you tell a lie, the punishment will be 10 times worse'.
honesty always pays off in the end. i applaud her.
dd and i were talking about the difference between morals and integrity. morals is knowing right from wrong. integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking. your dd showed integrity.

My same question... ex??

ita with the rest as well... good job for your dd doing the right thing!

[MaryL]

Originally Posted by Amy/CO

I think she did the right thing and I would be proud as heck with her. It is a good lesson to learn that doing the right thing isn't always going to have a happy ending.

Plus...she can sleep at night knowing that she did the right thing. Lots of time the good kids can hardly live with themselves until they admit that they've done something they weren't supposed to. Guilty conscience type of thing. Good for your dd for clearing hers. Had she ever been warned by the teacher before?? As a teacher...these are hard decisions to make. I have some really good kids who hardly ever do anything wrong. However, when they do, iItend to give them "one more chance", or an extra warning ("look", reminder, etc). If it happens again, and even though they are remorseful, I have to follow through with the consequences of my posted rules.

[littlesista06]

The "ex" thing... she broke up with 'the boy' (the one she'd been with for 3 months) 2 weeks ago. LOL They are still best friends though. She since then had another boy "ask her out" and they lasted a week until she broke up with him, because the didn't know each other well enough to be "going out", she thought. LOL

And I am proud of her, don't get me wrong. It took guts to own up to that and to get reprimanded. I just was thinking the teacher could have thrown her a bone in this situation, kwim? I was just throwing out my thoughts and am glad ya'll weighed in, esp. a teacher's perspective. And no, she had not been warned about talking or other behaviors.

And like I said, it doesn't make a hill of beans difference in anything, just something I'd been mulling over since she told me about it. : )

[RCT]

Oh how proud you must be, she handled herself so grown up. Sounds like you are raising a wonderful young woman.

sorry to hear the romance is over, but she sounds like a young woman who knows what she wants.

[littlesista06]

Originally Posted by RCT

Oh how proud you must be, she handled herself so grown up. Sounds like you are raising a wonderful young woman.

sorry to hear the romance is over, but she sounds like a young woman who knows what she wants.

yeah, they both still really like each other and are best friends, so that's the best that anyone can hope for. : )

thanks renee. i hope we're doing a good job! lol